I would like some critique on this. Its just a rough draft. I have to make a short story for english. This is just the beginning and was wondering what should be changed or fixed.

Simply I could not think of anything as the wind whispered to me and caressed my long hair. I held a white lily. My sad eyes settled on a red wood coffin. The priest frowned as he opened his Bible. He started to read. I just could not absorb anything he said. Faintly I felt my heart slip into the pits of my stomach and rupture. My lungs stung in sharp pains as I swallowed in the icy air. Hot tears silently crawled down my cheeks, stiffening my skin. This can’t be happening…not real I screamed in my head, as more tears streamed down my face.

A warm hand touch my shoulder, it was Dean. “Everything will be okay, Ava,” he mumbled weakly, “your mother was never there for you and never cared for you. She left you to a foster home.”

“I still loved her,” I choked.

A lump formed in my throat. I gently let the lily drop onto the coffin. Bye…mother I thought dreadfully.

I needed to be alone, away from the other people surrounding me. A tight knot in my chest flustered me. I bolted, leaving as much misery behind me as possible, passing all the grave stones.

The exit was at the bottom of the hill.

I stumbled onto the path and scurried out through the opened gate. Dean’s car was parked along the side of the fence. I released all my emotions as I collapsed onto the gravel and propped myself up against his car. Its faint warmth relaxed me a bit.

Thanks for you input