What do you think of the excerpt?
Author: admin
26
Mar
What do you think of the excerpt?
One girl in particular stood out from the crowd as I stood in the cramped corridor.
Maybe it was because she was a head above most of the other girls around her or maybe it was because of her radiant beauty. Either way, one thing was for sure, she was different from the rest.
Her pumpkin-orange hair flowed down her face and past her shoulders, resting in luscious curls at her elbow. One eye was hidden by the long sweeping fringe that covered almost the entire right hand side of her face. The other eye, almond in shape and a striking emerald green in colour stood out vividly among her other facial features.
Her skin was as white as bone, a stark contrast from the brightness of her hair.
She glided down the corridor as though it was a catwalk. Her audience stopped in their tracks as she past them by, glancing up to admire her splendour.
The girls that walked with her, though pretty, were insignificant compared to her. If they had been alone I would have thought they were beautiful, but standing next to this red haired divinity, they were little more than average.
She was closer to me now, I squinted at her, scrutinising every feature on her face. Every thing about her was symmetric; no fault could be found.
She floated closer and closer to me, until eventually she was less than a metre away. She looked me up and down and a warm smile spread across her face.
Was it a friendly smile? Or was she just ridiculing me? I mean come on; I was standing here in my faded old jumper and stained boots. My hair could only be described as rat’s tails and I did not have a scrap of make-up on. Mental note to self: must make more of an effort on a morning! We looked like the before and after versions of Cinderella, her obviously being the latter.
One Response for "What do you think of the excerpt?"
I really like it, you describe everything very well, I could picture it all very clearwell done and good luck, it sounds like an interesting story xx
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