im writing a vampire book and this time the girl is the vampire what do u think of chapter one?

Chapter One: The Beginning
I was only 6 years old when I was changed. I was walking home from primary school. It was getting dark, so I cut through the ally way home. The dim eerie street light flickered with every step I took. My little shoes tapped against the street floor. Suddenly I heard a trash can fall. “Who’s there?” my childish voice whispered to the air. I started to walk again, and this time, I heard footsteps behind me. Click Click. The steps tapped. I swiftly turned around, and then I was attacked.
“Get off!” I screamed. The creature didn’t listen. It just hissed, and snarled at me. I got a good look at its face. It wasn’t what I thought it was. It was no it. It was a he. “Food! At last!” The teenage boy yelled, his voice was gentle, but with a harsh ending. I didn’t speak, I felt my body get colder, and I was shivering like crazy. He slowly leaned his pale like head down to me. He got a good look at my terrified face. “Well, Well, Well, you’re a mighty cute little girl aren’t you dear,” he spoke once more. “To bad I have to kill you.” The word kill struck my body like lighting! Kill? I thought over and over again. Suddenly I felt my head, being moved so that my neck was exposed. He slowly moved my blonde hair out of the way. He licked his pink lips. Then, darted for my neck…
I felt the burn as he bit down. I screamed, but he only continued. “Stop!” I heard a dark, angry voice behind the boy yell. He, finally, pulled away from my bloody neck. I just lay there, in too much pain to move. The young boy looked up at the shadow who told him to stop. Then, he disappeared. I felt a sudden burn go through my body. “I’m on fire!” I screamed. “Get me out of the fire!” I lost control of my arms, and legs. My whole body was moving. One side jolted to the right, then left. It looked like I was having a secure! “It will be over soon, dear child.” The shadow promised. I blacked out, instantly not knowing who or what the shadow man was…

When I awoke, I was in an old mansion. I was dizzy, and confused. I opened my eyes, and I could see more clearly. I thought the lights were on, but they were off. I can see in the dark? I thought, and then looked around. I smelled something. Actually I smelled 4 different smells at once. “That’s so strange.” I spoke. I gasped. That wasn’t my voice that spoke, it couldn’t have been. My voice was like a whisper, but this new voice was like wind chimes. I walked around until I found a mirror. I gasped, again. “That’s not me!” I yelled, as I looked in the mirror. There was a girl there, with blonde hair down to her waist. Her skin was pale, and she had pink lips. Her eyes were golden green. Hazel, if you will. The girl was copying my movements. I put my hand to my face, and she did the same. I spoke, so did she. I realized this was me, I was the girl in the mirror.
“How is this even possible?” I shrieked. “You’re not who you were.” a voice whispered from behind me. It sounded like an old chair creaking. I turned around, and saw the shadow man. “Shadow man?” I asked. My high pitched voice sounded higher pitched. He laughed. “No dear child, my name is Xavier, and I saved your life, remember that man who attacked you?” Xavier asked. I nodded, some of my hair going into my face. “Well, he was a vampire. Yes, a vampire. He tried to kill you. But I stopped him. He was a new born, like you. New Borns are blood lusted young vampires.” Xavier explained. “WAIT!” I screamed. “You said LIKE YOU! YOU MEAN I’M A VAMPIRE!” I screamed. Xavier nodded. “What about my mom? What about my dad?” I asked. “Well, you have been missing for a week, they haven’t even noticed.” Xavier said. I felt a tear strike down my cheek. “Y-you mean, t-they d-don’t c-care?” I stuttered. He nodded again. “I’m sorry, but no fear. I have gotten you a new vampire family. You will love’ um.” Xavier garneted. I smiled. “Ah, I see your fangs are coming in.” Xavier smiled this time. “MY WHAT?” I screamed once again. He laughed. “Well, come on we have to take you to your new mom.” Xavier said. I smiled, and took his hand…

what do u think be honest!