Undecided Question

What do I do to help with my heart being broken so bad?

I am devastated and heartbroken today. My heart dropped and pained me terribly upon learning that the guy I've been in love with and sought after for so long is newly engaged. It happened just last weekend, and, he gave his girlfriend a ring from Tiffany's.

I've invested so much of myself in him. I wanted him to love me and he acted like he liked me at many times during the 2.5 years we worked together. Though we never did anything physically, I formed a bond with him because I've been and am single — and had quiet hope that he'd like me, one day. This sort of daydreaming got me by some bad days and nights, and gave me some more reason to carry on.

I know — office romances is a no-no, but I was being hopeful and getting caught up in the hope that one day I'd win him over. With girlfriend, who I learned about, who I also learned lives with him and does not work (he supports her — what a life!), I just feel ugly and feel that I'll never be loved. I'm 37 and never had a "real" boyfriend. I just never felt confident or pretty, and still feel that I'm not like other girls (and am frustrated about it).

It's like the song from the 70s, "At 17" — "I learned the truth at seventeen, that love was meant for beauty queens. And, high school girls with clear-skinned smiles, who married young and then retired….And those of us with ravaged faces, lacking in the social graces, desperately stayed at home inventing lovers on the phone…."

Yeah, I can relate. When no guys are into you and you're working like a dog to make ends meet, your life seems pointless to continue. What hope do you have for the future? It's just getting by and then getting rejected by the opposite sex when a social event comes around. It's the heartbreak you see when couples are together and you have no one. It's when someone plays you and looks at you in a special way — just to realize that it's a game; all pretend.

I have me in this world, and you can't really enjoy things when you're alone. You grow distrustful of others — friends, possible boyfriends — you think that how could anyone like me after so much time has passed, and why do they when no one else had before?

I'm heartbroken today and didn't want this inevitable day to come. To know that someone is so happy with the guy I fell for — is just too much. I don't know how I could recover. My life seems so bleak and non-existent.

Can someone help me?