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26 Mar
Troubling Father Daughter Relationship – Is this Covert Incest?
Is it okay for a divorced man to take his 15 yr old daughter to an expensive dinner every weekend especially when he is always complaining about his finances? My boyfriend has a daughter from his previous marriage and he says her mother doesn't treat her well. Basically the maternal mother is jealous of the daugther so he compensates for it. It seems to be a bit out of control to me though and I need help with this. He is constantly complaining about spending money but he will buy the most expensive everything for his daughter from shampoo, skin care products for her to the most expensive clothes, and then says he has no money to go to the movies or away with me on a weekend he doesn't have his kids. He can't take me out on a nice date without complaining about the expenses, and he can't buy his son a pair of socks, but everytime we stop at CVS the daughter leaves with an additional $25 worth of beauty products or hair accessories. His son cant get colonge but the daughter can have everything she wants. This started as soon as she got her priod. Honestly people, what 12 year old girl needs $20 razor blades or $30 shampoo? What 13 year old needs Juicy Couture, $150 Uggs, and coach bags? Does she have a job? He won't buy a video game for his son, but he takes the daughter out for an expensive steak dinner every weekend he has her because otherwise she will pout and throw a tantrum. She won't go to the movies with her dad and brother because it is embarassing for her friends to see her with her dad and brother and they have to go to another town when the dad wants to take the kids for a movie, but she feels okay going to an expensive dinner every weekend.
Anytime she throws a tantrum he lets her without any kind of punishment and anyone who points out the bad message this send out ends up getting punished instead. What little girl where thongs and gets their dad to buy them $50 push up bras? Have I lost my mind, or am I completely out of touch? I grew up with a mom and dad in the same home and a brother and none of this crap ever happened in my house! He acts as if his daugther is his partner and we all have to abide by her rules or pay the consequences. He boasts about her beauty, and popularity and how great she is, how she is happy all of the time – but he refuses to see she is happy because she manipulates him to get whatever she wants, and he follows, and then he ignores or blocks her mean acts towards others and her tantrums with him. He shares his personal life with her and what is going on in her brother's and he lets her decide what is best for her brother and they are only a year apart.
How do I get him to understand how this is desrtuctive not only to our relationship but also to the reltionships both his son and daugther will end up in as they grow older. He is basically teaching his daugther how to use men, and his son is conflicted as he sees his sister get everything while his father acts as if I am a rug.
I don't want to argue with him, but I guess I want to know if I have lost my mind. Should I jump ship and run for a life boat or what I can do to help him understand that this behavior is affecting our relationship and pushing me away. I am uncomfortable whenever she is sitting on him and sprawling on him, as well as when he yells at everyone else (his son, and myself) for trouble she causes. I mean honestly, I am beginning to think that this stuff about her mother is completely made up and the maternal mother is not really even jeaalous at all, but just disciplined and fed out with her daugther's manipulation!
Sorry this is so long but I need help.
7 Responses for "Troubling Father Daughter Relationship – Is this Covert Incest?"
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters You're not the one that needs help, he does. Sorry but I doubt there is much you will be able to do because he probably would not listen to anybody trying to talk sense to him. You might start to think about getting on that life boat. Sorry
every father and daughter have a strong connection. every mother and son have a strong connection. there is always a Sexual connection to sons masturbate to thoughts of mother and daughter to father. and vise versa we don't act on them are realize them but they are there. read taboo story's on lit and tell me you are not turned on be honest this go's for every one.http://www.lit0o0com/stories/
Sounds like she is the favorite.I would not put up with this, especially since hecan't take you our when he doesn't have his kiddo'sYou should try to talk to him about it.Maybe even give him an ultimatum.Like no sex, or tell him you will leave if things don't change.Make sure he knows what he is doing to his boy is wrong!
shes his little girl but i make my daughters earn there things not just handed to them life makes you work hard so why should i not do the same but kids these days ask for expensive things what can you do
He is training her as a best lady in the corporation, giving her the best of her lost of motherly love, neither is enough to fill the loses. He making enough to cheers her to materialize her , what's wrong with this. If ones can afford to parts his own money for the best in life, he did not beg, borrow and steal. Some time later you will be silently been trains in your corporate life in doing the same thing with another label that's all. The basic fundamental of getting on the business have not been successful of any proofed records even though it seem it did. If this is the proofed case, there should be no financial crisis as we are still experiencing worldwide.Strictest discipline came with a heavy price tag, train her hard and give her the best. Very resourceful and intelligent in human management. A successful people manager is a person good in manipulation.If you cannot agreed with the man of the house thoughts, you will never end up in his books. There will be more obstacle for you to resolve as he is currently started to bridge walls and tearing down bridge for you. You Bf have no power over his dad and she is an untouchable now. Is up to your persistence or silliness to be in which side of the wall or war.
This is a tricky one.Im really not so sure. Maybe he is just extremely protective over the girl as many fathers are and wants her to have a wonderful time when he gets to see her. No, He does not need to spend that kind of money on her though. The girl and boy should be equal to him regardless of the age or gender. As for you, if he does not show you respect, and if you cannot be comfortable around the girl, just jump that ship girl friend. Im sure you can do much better. But if you really want things to work out, you need to probably take him to a PUBLIC place and mention something about whats on your mind. I say public just because of the chance of him over reacting. I wouldnt want him to take a swing at you when you say something about his daughter. Just… give it a shot or head for the door. I wish you luck, Good Luck.
I would tell your dad, you know he has the good intentions, and you know he means well, but he shouldn't have to be expensive when hanging out with you. It's good that he makes time for you, and you should enjoy that. But tell him it doesn't take money and fancy gifts to for you to keep loving him. Tell him, that it's unfair to your brother to be treated like dirt. Your brother deserves your dad's time also.Spoiled brats means awful parenting skills.I would find activities that you all can enjoy.The zoos, museums, amusement parks, or anything.In a real family relationship, money should never be an obstacle.My dad died five years ago, and I would love to get even 5 min. with him. My dad and I would go to Hardee's or McDonald's and play basketball in the park. We always found a way to have fun when money was little. He would take turns with my siblings and I.There were four of us, and he made necessary time for each of us.I hope for the best.Best Wishes!
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