beauty healthy happy
14 Mar
The broken ties of family?
I miss my mother very much. I cry about her and I think about her. But I can't go back. I can't. Literally I can't stand to be hurt by her even one last time. She can't change who she is. I know she can't help it. At some point I have to protect myself.
I feel very sad over this. I cry by myself at night when no one can hear or see me. In the morning I put on this perfect, immaculate front of happiness and strength. I sicken myself sometimes at my consummate disconnect of brain and heart. A counselor once asked me if I was a drug addict. Shocked at her question I said no of course not and I asked her why she would ask me such a question. She replied that drug addicts are often completely disengaged from their own feelings.
That made even more depressed. I was so cut off from my own heart I looked like a drug addict to a trained counselor.
Here is my serious question.
Since I cannot change the world I need to change myself.
Is there a pill I can take that will lesson my emotional sensitivity? A chemically induced thicker skin? I have long been against medication of any kind unless absolutely necessary although this time I would like to try different avenue.
4 Responses for "The broken ties of family?"
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters This is really nothing to do with genealogy..however my heart goes out to you, so I feel I need to answer.How your mother behaves and how she really feels is completely different, exactly the same as you, as you say you put on a 'face' to the world but inside you are breaking up, an emotional wreck.Try to separate behaviour from the person…you don't like how she behaves, however she is your mum and you love and miss the person and that is totally acceptable………….everyone has their own issues, these are just hers. Don't punish her lack of tact and understanding as you punish her and I can tell you she does love and need you whatever she says and whatever you think.You can protect yourself and still have a relationship with your mum, just on your terms……….just think for a moment you have a daughter who does the same to you, it would break your heart and life is just too short to throw it away.Your 'trained counsellor' has stepped over the mark as far as professionally goes and you couldhave reported her for what she said………….my 'feeling' is that she was not so 'trained' as you think and possibly didn't even belong to a professional organisation…which although not law, even when training to be a counsellor it is a requirement.You can only cahnge yourself…..you haven't any other option as you can not change anyone else, only they can do that. My advice would be first to go and see your own doctor as if you have clinical depression, without drugs it will never change….you don't have to be on them for long, just until you start to change the inbalance of chemicals that alter our thinking and with the help of talking therapy with a properly trained counsellor life can look so much better.You need to protect and look after yourself right now, get your emotions under your control…then you can start to think about others………first of all stop beating your self up it does no good except to make you feel worse you need to be proactive and think about what you can do and how you behave…Sending you a hug and be kind to yourself
Try marijuana, Novocain for the soul.
You had the wrong counselor. My wife had a problem with her mother and she always told her that she wished she died at birth. She always make it her fault for her life. My wife ended up in counseling. The doctor was very good. It wasn't her fault and she learned that she could not change her mother. She did at the end not talk to her mother the last four years of her life. She cried very hard when her mother died. She knows that she was not to blame for the way her mother was. She tells me her mom had to blame some one and she was the easiest one to blame. See a good counselor; one that really listens. It will help you a lot. Good Luck
I really sorry for you, to go through all that.. i'm sorry to hear it. I hope the best for your future, I admire you for trying to change yourself since you cannot change the world. I know it's hard to move on and I think once you make that big step and find yourself, you will find happiness.. really hope you do. You should talk to you mom and tell her exactly how you feel one day, just like what you said right now. I think she should know. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/medicati… http://www.helpguide.org/mental/treatmen…As some of these websites say, you need to change your lifestyle, you need therapy and medication. A new counselor for sure, take care and my prayers will be with you.
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