The broken ties of family?

6 years ago I broke off the relationship with my mother when it finally struck me that she does not care about my feelings and never will. How I have felt has never been important to her. How terrible to be born with a sensitive nature and ironically be paired with a womb that neither understands emotions or cares. It was a combination of swallowing too many hurts over the years. How terrible it is to be born with a nature that feels more deeply than others. The average person when insulted is able to shrug it off but I feel pain. To add insult to injury I am ashamed of how easily I am emotionally wounded. I hide it well of course but it hurts me deeply. I am the polar genetic opposite of a true psychopath. Someone who is born emotionally color blind.

I miss my mother very much. I cry about her and I think about her. But I can't go back. I can't. Literally I can't stand to be hurt by her even one last time. She can't change who she is. I know she can't help it. At some point I have to protect myself.

I feel very sad over this. I cry by myself at night when no one can hear or see me. In the morning I put on this perfect, immaculate front of happiness and strength. I sicken myself sometimes at my consummate disconnect of brain and heart. A counselor once asked me if I was a drug addict. Shocked at her question I said no of course not and I asked her why she would ask me such a question. She replied that drug addicts are often completely disengaged from their own feelings.

That made even more depressed. I was so cut off from my own heart I looked like a drug addict to a trained counselor.

Here is my serious question.

Since I cannot change the world I need to change myself.

Is there a pill I can take that will lesson my emotional sensitivity? A chemically induced thicker skin? I have long been against medication of any kind unless absolutely necessary although this time I would like to try different avenue.