beauty healthy happy
26 Mar
Tell me what you like of my lyrics!?
(verse1)How long has this been going on?
Now her eyes seem so withdrawn
It continues to take over her she maintains and innocent demure
She hasn't noticed anything at all
She makes herself seem so small
How is it that she can hide the pain?
The answer no words can explain
Ahh…What is this thing?
Ahh…It's clawing at the inside of me
(chorus) Tell me when this all began
It's been hiding underneath her skin
Spreading around like a contagious disease
She shows a smile. Is is as dangerous as it seems?
I feel a light shining through my soul
A kind of light that just might make her whole
Inside of her a different beauty dawns
It just keeps going on and on and on.
(verse2) I can see it pulsing through her veins
It's on here toungue, she's fighting to restrain
I can tell it's boiling in her blood
I can tell it's only just begun
I need to know whats going through her mind
A tangled mess now starting to unwind
Is there a way that I can help her now?
If there is please tell me how
Ahh…what is this thing?
Ahh…what does it mean?
(chorus)
(bridge)For better or for worse
I feel remorse
This odd assault
No it's not my fault
Please tell me why
This could be goodbye
(chorus)
4 Responses for "Tell me what you like of my lyrics!?"
your cheating heart
umm, one problem. please dont call me inexperienced because i write songs and people love them, and everybody has there own way of writing. mhmmm. and lets see, i was just trying to get my point across clearer and i have ocd, soo yea lets not go there. judge me on the song, not the quantity, but quality. and umm i'm 14 to. and unlike you i'm actually gonna judge u on ur SONG and not the quanity of it. it's good and i'm not just gonna say tht because god forbid i dont like the way it's written. cause to be honest, the song itself is a little weird. ooh and refrain from using the word crap. because i write tons of songs, and even help people with lyrics, thats because they like them. so know what ur talking about before you say it. and as a song writer ur self u should know that. and look for the positives and critique me on my song. cause if YOU were an experienced songwriter, u would do that. cause i know i do! (: feel free to message me if u have a reply! but yea good job.*edit* ohh and i DO know a thing or two about music! so dont tell me to "learn a thing or two about it" and u say that it's un-necessary to be putting ur music on here, but oohh whats this….its ur song tht u put on here!!! soo dont tell me its not necessary when YOU do it 2. cause all i'm trying to get is some VALID opinions. bye! Source(s): call me a jerk, *****. idc. u deserved it in a way.good job on song though!
i like it i accualy started to sing it i got a cool tune for you if you need one!! lol keep writing songs for the world to sing or for you idk!!!!
i like it a lot but to me it seems a little to usual but its really really good and i got a melody after 2 words which is good verse 2 line 3 reminds me of a line in decode by paramore but i'm sure it's just a coincidence also to me it seems like it would be sung nicely with a guitar or piano so it would be great if u knew how to play either still its really good but sounds like a regular story but is extremely nice and sweet and i think u should keep writing songs and DON'T SHOW YOUR SONG BOOK TO ANYONE because somebody stole mine but they where all copy righted so if that person sings any of them i can sue so good job and good luck
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