I am over weight but that is also i have really large breast (which i hate but cant afford reduction) and with that it makes it a lil harder to go work out for a few reason. for one i feel so uncomfortable with big boobs and on the bigger side with the skinner girls with just a sport bra on next to me. now i am not a person who knocking on the he skinny girls.
my thing is this. no matter how hard i try i just cant seem to get " skinny: i been dieting eating healthy going to gym for years. and honestly i was not to bad but my boobs make me look Triple the size that i really am. and also big bones run in my family. now i am not wanting to be skin and bones a lil meat i want but i am 27 and weight 214 with extra large breast and. prior to having my baby i was 190 at full term i was 230 then after baby i went to 197 and now my son is 6 month and i am still 214. i am pretty i am so confident but i feel no one especially my husband cant accept me. i am mot that huge on the reals i am pretty comfortable with who i am only if i could chop of my boobs. but who would not want to be skinner??
so then it comes to my friends life i use to have tons of so called frenz then i grew up and realized they was no good for me just drama filled who took advantage of my kindness and i am a gully able one. so now i am left with no one. my own mother pout me off. so here i am still confident but yet i feel i gotta change and get so angry i can not.
my work. life is just as badly i used to always be in the fast food then i realized i gotta grow up be more reasonable i never thought iw Old be that type. but there iw as going job to job on temps and busting my *** for so many years trying to get in but i know for a fact my looks did not win the job in fact i was told that on 2 diff rent times i so badly wanted to sue. they said i had all the qualifications just not the looks. so i finally land a job at a shitty Low paid company but hey it a step in the door right> so for 2 years i bent over back wards got disrespect Sexual harass and so much more and still stay at this stupid job i worked way over time and never got paid so pretty much he just took a hard work for **** pay and what ever then as soon as it slows down he lets me go wtf is this man?? all because i said it was my day off i did agree to work till he could come in so it not like i said i would work at all but dam i was working 7 days week fro like 8-10hours a day for a Loise 320 a week which was never ever paid on time.
so where am i now?? my husband is off in india for a month leaving me and my 6 month old son i really hurt my back and not one god dam person can come Visit just to check on me. or help since i really hurt my back?? i have 2 so called friends but they never come to see me or call i call them once in awhile and what not but when i say they should come by the give the worst excuses and tell me to pay 50 dollars in a cab to go see them like ti so easy with me all alone with a baby and no car and hardly no money since am not working and ya know my husbands money is his. so any advice WHO to keep positive? i really really try to think ok i am a good confident happy person. but how CAN i be when i am left like this?? so i stay at home all day since my husband thinks we can not afford a car which i know we can and clean and thats it then sometiems when i am feeling down my husbands can make me feel wors my saying i did nto clean enough or i shuold try to go back to work with mr *** hold and also go to the gym with my big boobs and also push the stroller with my son in the snow to take him tot he gym with god for bid he watch him or takes care of him . ugh what do i do? all my freinds and family sya leve him but i cant i for some god reason love him & don't believe in divorce and honestly i can not do it on my own at this rate i have no money no job my family live out of state and they treat me like **** worst then him so now what am confident person but for no reason i should be i just get **** on. i cant belive i am stuck in this house for a whole month by myself cant go anywhere well the month almost over now i got 12 more days till my honey comes home.