5 Responses for "Self-hating gay, any advice?"

1. miley cyrus March 14th, 2010 at 8:46 am 1

   First off you are not going to find anyone of quality in any clubs. Period. I know where you are coming from though. It is tough being young and gay. So many of us are so hedonistic that it is sex without love or caring. I beg you, don't go the route of drugs/alcohol/unsafe sex. I promise that what you are feeling now will pass. Yes we all dream of finding the perfect guy to sweep us off our feet. But that takes time. I might suggest you join a gay group in your area and avoid the clubs. OR join an online gay group or find a gay friendly counselor to discuss these feelings with. In time, you will find the perfect guy. But you need to be realistic and know that at your age a lasting lifetime relationship is rare. The reality is that your heart will be broken some but you WILL survive this. And hopefully you will learn. Take all the bad experiences you have already had and examine what you didn't like. Learn not to make those mistakes again (such as trusting others too easily). And remember. You are MORE than just a gay man. You are so many other things. Being gay is just ONE facet of who you are. When the right person comes along, you will know it. Hope this helps. You have an advantage over me and my coming out in that when I came out (close to 30 years ago) I didn't have the Internet to ask questions on and reach out. You have that at least. I had to go it alone and find the answers out for myself. I learned that the quality people are not in clubs drugged out of their minds. I learned that going out and dancing was a fun activity and not a way of life. And I learned that I am a unique person and my sexual/affectional preference is just one part of a very complex me. Good luck sweetie. Please accept a hug from an old Queen who has been there! LOL

2. taylor swift March 14th, 2010 at 8:46 am 2

   you need to get help… go to a school counselor or a psychologist and tell them all of this. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't become another statistic…

3. selena gomez March 14th, 2010 at 8:46 am 3

   Learning to love yourself it is the greatest love of all.

4. Vanessa Hudgens March 14th, 2010 at 8:46 am 4

   You sound dangerously depressed.If your school has a counselor, make an appointment and see her or him.There is probably a PFLAG chapter near you — contact them and ask for support.Check out the Gay Christian Network. You don't have to be a Christian to join on, but chatting with people in that great online community certainly saved my sanity at one point in my life.I'm sorry you've been wounded and hurt so badly. Some guys are not mature enough to think about others, and are concerned only with having sex. Clearly you need a guy who is more mature, caring, thoughtful, and trustworthy.He will come into your life, if you keep your eyes open.I agree, you should look for groups in your area to join. PFLAG may be able to direct you.You are young, and have a great life ahead of you! Don't despair. I mean, think of how many 17 year old girls have been dumped by idiot guys. Should all those girls give up? Pfft, I don't think so. Neither should you, Cutie.Take deep breaths. Ask for the Universe, God, or your Higher Self to fill you with Light, Love, Strength, Comfort, Wisdom. Get in touch with PFLAG and join some good groups. Trust that you are not alone, and that, at the right time, you will find a really nice, sweet guy to love.You are beautiful. Believe it, trust it, live it. Source(s): http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid…http://www.gaychristian0o0net

5. Vanessa Hudgens March 14th, 2010 at 8:46 am 5

   You're only 17? And you think like this?Wow. Okay, you're going to take this the wrong way anyway and since all us gay guys are "twisted, no good cheaters" (Remember on which category you asked this question in and in turn remember the general people in this category who answer questions) it really don't matter what I say. Kid, get the fcuk over yourself. (I don't sugar coat) You think you're something special? News-a-flash!You're not. You sit there all bitter and jaded and in truth you don't have a fcuking clue about the world around you. Just made up assumptions because one guy screwed you over. Well, that's just a part of life. If you walk like a door mat and look like a door mat, you will be USED like a fcukign door mat. How is that NOT evident.One does not have to be remotely on a genius level to figure that crap out.You want to be all emo, go the fcuk ahead but while you're sitting in a pool of your own self-pity don't expect people to feel sorry for you. This is YOUR life, you don't like it? Do something about it.If you actually think people are put on this earth to make you feel all warm and cuddily inside you're in for a rude awakening.