When I look at people all I can see are flaws. I look around all I can see are horrible teeth, flabby thighs, giggly bellys, hideous clothes, bad skin and ugly hair. It is the same when I gaze into the mirror. My mind starts pointing out everything that is wrong with me. The uglyness.

I think this has a lot to do with my low-self esteem and self consciousness and the fact that I am literally a loner. I have no friends.

I have begun reading spiritual books and self-helps books where you are encouraged to turn off the mind/ your conscious and listen to your thoughts and I have begun to do so and I can't believe it and I can't help it … all day i passed about 200+ people and I didn't find one attractive, everytime a human being passed me my mind ridiculed and sabbotaged them with negativity. What is wrong with me? Why do I only see the faults and the imperfections? Where is this beauty you are supposed to see?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Am I brainwashed by the media? Am I just shallow? Am I just a cruel person? Am I too obsessed with perfection and barbies?