beauty healthy happy
26 Mar
Opinions on a poem I wrote for my son?
Give in to the rivers
Allow yourself to be free
Beautiful youth, hair knotted
Eyes telling stories
Lips make no sound
Cherub cheeks, be dimpled with innocence
Chipped teeth, smiling crookedly
Give in to the trees
Wild beauties with hearts bold
Allow the sun to be your mother
The moon your father
Give in to the skies
Clouds daunting
Telling the story of a storm
But soft faced beauties of the wild
Never give in to the treachery
Tanned skin freckled by your mother
Gleaming eyes, undaunted
Lips red, stained by the berries of your friends
Give in to the flowers
Dandelions perched in tangled hair
Hands dirt covered
Feet rough and brown
Knees thick with mud
The land is your companion
Your journey never done
Knowing more yet not knowing any
Soft faced beauties of the wild north
Thanks for your opinions, whether they be good or bad! =)
3 Responses for "Opinions on a poem I wrote for my son?"
I don't get stanza five. What are those clouds supposed to be? The poem, as I read it, praises nature, and encourages the "soft faced beauties of the north [and/or] wild" to embrace the joys of the natural world. There's something vaguely "treacherous" about those clouds, but it's unclear to my why the storm–which is undeniably a part of the natural cycle that feeds the berries and dandelions and rivers–ought to be avoided.Just a thought.
amazing. WOW. really emotional. If your son is young, he will like some of the words, and when he gets older, he will be able to look deeper for inner meaning.
It is a very interesting write, provoking my mind.
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