Opinions on a poem I wrote for my son?

Author: admin

26 Mar

Soft faced beauties of wild north
Listen to the song of the winds
As you begin your journey
Dance to the songs as the stars light the way

Give in to the rivers
Allow yourself to be free
Beautiful youth, hair knotted
Eyes telling stories

Lips make no sound
Cherub cheeks, be dimpled with innocence
Chipped teeth, smiling crookedly
Give in to the trees

Wild beauties with hearts bold
Allow the sun to be your mother
The moon your father
Give in to the skies

Clouds daunting
Telling the story of a storm
But soft faced beauties of the wild
Never give in to the treachery

Tanned skin freckled by your mother
Gleaming eyes, undaunted
Lips red, stained by the berries of your friends
Give in to the flowers

Dandelions perched in tangled hair
Hands dirt covered
Feet rough and brown
Knees thick with mud

The land is your companion
Your journey never done
Knowing more yet not knowing any
Soft faced beauties of the wild north

Thanks for your opinions, whether they be good or bad! =)

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miley cyrus March 26th, 2010 at 2:55 am 1
I don't get stanza five. What are those clouds supposed to be? The poem, as I read it, praises nature, and encourages the "soft faced beauties of the north [and/or] wild" to embrace the joys of the natural world. There's something vaguely "treacherous" about those clouds, but it's unclear to my why the storm–which is undeniably a part of the natural cycle that feeds the berries and dandelions and rivers–ought to be avoided.Just a thought.
lady gaga March 26th, 2010 at 2:55 am 2
amazing. WOW. really emotional. If your son is young, he will like some of the words, and when he gets older, he will be able to look deeper for inner meaning.
lady gaga March 26th, 2010 at 2:55 am 3
It is a very interesting write, provoking my mind.

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