Low self esteem or something more?
I have extremely deep insecurities about the way I look
I can't leave the house without having washed my hair/done my makeup
I will skip school if I feel like I can't go out because of my face
I will constantly reapply my makeup- sometimes making me late for school/skip school
However, I'm not always unsatisfied about the way I look
I'm always running late for school because I have to constantly check my makeup
I hate bright lights and I avoid all places with bright lights
I check mirrors pretty constantly and I sometimes even wake up at night to do so
I don't spend very long at mirrors however.
I don't look at mirrors in public when there are people around me. I feel like it'll make them scrutinise me
I'm always wishing for things like better skin and a prettier face
I used to pick at my skin with scissors
There was a period of time where I would cover my nose with a bandaid, telling people I had tripped whereas I was just extremely frustrated with the way my skin/nose looked
I avoid cameras and I often think about rhinoplasty and chemical peels and whatnot
I've just started seeing a psychologist (about my phobias)
We discussed my phobias and my other anxieties and how I deal with stress
We briefly talked about my confidence levels in the way I looked but we didn't go in depth about this and I only told her about having to apply makeup and my concerns that my Mum would stop buying me makeup
She just told me that I had these anxieties because I'm a teenager and I care about the way I look, which I don't disagree with
But recently, I heard about something called Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I can relate to a lot of it and I was just wondering if I have it? Or if it is just really low self esteem/a problem related to adoloscence.
Thanks!
One Response for "Low self esteem or something more?"
its just you being insecure i feel the same way sometimes.i can never take good photos its seems i get like 1 out of ever 10 pictures i take.but when i look in certin mirros like my bthroom 1 my face looks fatter and weird and dry skinned and it looks like i have bags under my eyes.i also hate taking pics with the living room light on it makes my face look weird,like yellow skinned with bags.my mum says i don't have bags and that my skin looks nice and fresh.people say i look better than i did like 5 years ok.and when i look at a pic a photographer took of me and my sisters.i look better in that in any photo i take of my self these days.yet people who see me in person say i am better looking now than i was back then.so that means i must look better in person than any pic i take now also.i sometimes pull my skin to look at it if i ever try to take pics at night with the light on.when i do it looks white and smooth and fresh looking.like my mum and sister say ect so its not the yellow type dry dirty skin i see in pics taking in certin lights or in the bathroom mirror or in the kitchen 1 when the lights on.
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