3 Responses for "Is this introduction okay?"

1. Vanessa Hudgens March 26th, 2010 at 3:54 pm 1

   Best Answer – Chosen by Voters Changed a sentence fragment, added commas, re-worded a few sentences. You need an opening sentence to show people where you are headed. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cosmetic surgery is a trend that is changing the American culture."Two tall, slender, ladies are standing before Tyra Banks, both with impeccable skin, unsullied hair and slim waistlines. Only one will take the title of America's Next Top Model."This popular show depicts the beauty of women, but for some it’s not a natural born image. Many individuals go through plastic surgery to enhance their appearance, yet society finds it almost insulting when someone who looks fine wants to modify their body to achieve outer beauty. Plastic surgery has been a topic of controversy due to vanity issues, religion, and even age. Even though this medical specialty is perceived in a negative light, cosmetic surgery continues to be a trend among today’s young s, which provides both benefits and repercussions. Source(s): .Hope this helps…you have a basically good composition!

2. selena gomez March 26th, 2010 at 3:54 pm 2

   It is not an introduction. The first three sentences are dealing with models. You have not told us whether this is the theme, or whether you have been asked to write about plastic surgery.It is also baffling that some one who can write the effortless prose of the remaining paragraph could commit the sin of mixing numerals in a formal statement.For an introduction you need to state briefly the position given in the question, and then give a resume of how you will answer.Your 'introduction' fails because you have given us no idea of either the premise or of your reply to it. However, from what you have written, it is clear that you can do brilliantly

3. taylor swift March 26th, 2010 at 3:54 pm 3

   Sounds good except your opening statement is a fragment. Try "Imagine 2 tall and slender girls…" or 2 tall and slender ladies ARE standing…."Last sentence has to be your whole paper so it sounds good. Source(s): English writer