I'm 13 years old and I write in my spare time. Please tell me your honest opinion of the prologue to a novel I'm writting.
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July 17th

Dear Diary,

Life is too short to be wasted on foolishness, it is a precious gift from god that should be cherished. You should never regret your actions and you should never regret not doing something, everything happens for a reason. At least, that’s what my mother had always told me. I had started following her way of life, but I now regret it. I had fallen in love with someone that everyone hated, I had looked over all of his flaws and it had lead me down a never ending path of chaos.

I guess what they say is true, love is blind. It’s a blind mess of happiness, sadness and madness. The only visible part is confusion. All I could see was a thick wall of fog blocking me from the truth. The unbearable truth that I haven’t yet learnt to accept. Diary, I wanted love more then anything in the world but it had hurt me. At times it had made me feel like I was floating on a cloud bordering warmth, smiles and laughter. But love had also stabbed me in the back, it had left me to drown in a pool of my own cold tearful sorrow.

I had become unbelievably mad at love, but I had still pushed away our differences and made room for it in my heart. That beast was my soul mate, I worshiped at its feet, and it came in and left too soon. It had left me crying until my furry drained my eyes drier than any desert. Deep down I knew the drops would creep their way down the apples of my cheeks again. I knew that the next time they would they would be filled with even more vulnerability and despair because I would never be able to forget, but I had to try.

I had to try to forget the wonderful shivers I had every time I laid eyes on that flawless coat of beauty. I had to forget the ways to stop time in its tracks and put everything at peace. I had to forget that every time I saw the ocean’s waves of destruction glistening with sunshine I’d smile, and that every time I heard the sounds of nature sing I’d laugh, and that every time beauty decided to sweep past me and her wind tickled the top of my skin I’d scream of joy.

Forget that I’d scream because I couldn’t hold it in, forget that I’d scream because I didn’t feel I deserved this amazing happiness, forget that I’d scream because I could never, ever, let go of the hand of Aphrodite. I wanted it to be mine forever. Painfully, forever was too long to hold my hand, and it let go. It let go of love and everything that was right, and it was never coming back. I knew that I had to forget, but I didn’t want to.

If I wasn’t able to forget I knew that I would never be able to go on with my life. I’d live it in grief and distress waiting for the day our fingers would be linked again. I needed those fingers so bad because they were holding my happiness in their palm. Despite the fact that I dreamt of our reunion every night and thought about it every day, I knew that it would never be a reality. I was forced to find my happiness by myself. It was lost like a pirate’s treasure, buried under my depression in the hollow cave of my heart. It was going to take me a while to dig it out but I knew I would. Eventually.

Sincerely,
Samantha Audrey Belton