beauty healthy happy
26 Mar
I think I'm depressed. My life is messed up?
What a fatal mistake… I STILL don't even finish papers on time or study as much as I should for tests, and my grades are STILL getting WORSEEEEEEEE!!!! I'm hopeless!! I've tried and tried and tried and tried to bring my grades up, but nothing ever works. I'm still that same procrastinator, that same slacker!
I wish someone just understood me… I feel like everyone just doesn't even give a damn. They should know that I'm suffering from something, and that's what's causing me to do so poorly in school – my teachers send me ******* interims NON STOP. and it's really weighing down on my soul. I've never really had many friends, so I can't really talk to anyone (as if that would help anyway)…
I really don't like humans. Humans are just big globs of flesh filled with internal organs, blood, bone, brains, intestines, and other disgusting stuff. Now when I look at a person, I imagine what they would look like if I just saw them one layer under the skin. They would look sick and disgusting. Yet we call that "beauty." Think of what love is, too. It's a bunch of chemicals and electric signals in your brain just making your body respond in a certain way because of someone's behavior or appearance. **** love. Love is ****. And also, we've completely lost ourselves on this ******* planet. Look at all the wars we've waged, the billions humanity has killed in all of time, our irresponsible behavior on this planet and the effects it's having (global warming), our fascination with the world itself instead of something more important like God and the hereafter. Look what we've done. We've made a fool of ourselves. **** life. Humanity is morbid.
So basically, I think I'm really a mix between anger and sadness. Right now i feel angry for what we've done and what has happened to myself and others, but at the same time i feel sad, for what we've done and what has happened to myself and others…. strange indeed. my heart feels heavy right now.
All I can do is remember those days when things were great, when I was getting straight As in school, when the world was a better place. I've often considered doing some violent things in my school, like Columbine but without the killing (I don't believe in murder). But I do feel like getting a bit of revenge on that stupid girl I liked.. She's the one who made me like her in the first place, so why not return the favor and **** up her life? But right now, all I want to do is not be here. Anymore. Just poof out of existence, or maybe run away. I'm so lost.. I'm barely here. I wish i could explain myself but words escape me. It's too late to save me. It's too late.
This world's an ugly place. There's nothing beautiful.
4 Responses for "I think I'm depressed. My life is messed up?"
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters I've had a similar experience in my life, and I understand how empty, painful, and frustrating your life is right now. When I had these terrible feelings I began searching for the meaning behind my emotions. I found plenty of interesting things but they never stuck with me. I continued to search until i fell upon this link: http://www.perceivingreality0o0com/ Ever since then everything began to make sense to me. I hope this will help you, and here are some more links:http://www.youtube0o0com/watch?v=7FEykDoaT…http://www.youtube0o0com/watch?v=DBjgLYrMr…http://www.illuzia0o0net/
Wow…you really needed to vent.Don't worry, everything will be ok.
I do understand what you are going through and along how these thoughts are coming up but you should really just start fixing your problems cause were your going isn't any prettier.Well don't mistake lack of faith in yourself because of a mistake. Start fixing your problems your Intelligent start working a routine that works out for you whether its getting all your stuff done at one time or setting out a specific time just get a schedule going. your a young boy of course theirs more underlying than this one issue with that girl your a guy so organizations never feels as necessary but try it out it will help with procrastination. Start setting goals that are attainable for you that will help. Your anger and pure hatred for things is needed to dealt with the world isn't a ugly place and your hatred for humans because of one mistake is a bit to much. Its not to late to save yourself from all this just chill man your being a bit dramatic get some friends get a hobby go out their and live. You are stressing yourself out and replacing with hatred doesn't make sense. You can't speak for all humanity saying that we have lost ourselves not true its just what you let yourself perceive. Change your view point build up yourself esteem and for goodness sakes please stop hating the world its not out to get you and therefore you shouldn't be out to get. Go get help with your depression maybe talk to a counselor do something for yourself so you aren't like this cause honestly sad to hear that you have losing hope. feel free to im or email if you wanna talk maybe i can help restore some of that hope.
I'm going to tell you something that's rather personal for me, I've gone through this, I've had my heart broken twice by a guy I love with all of my heart twice. I'm in the same grade as you and I have the same problems, but I've gotten all Bs and a C on my last report card. I've thought about suicide and they put me on antidepressants. I suggest you do the good thing and tell your parents you need a psychiatrist. If they refuse tell them you've considered death. Ask about depression and what pills you can take, I've been taking welbutrin. The pill makes you more active and helps with getting your grades back up. One side affect in the first few weeks is that you won't be able to sleep but that goes away with time. Another thing, I was molested and I had to go through that too, which that didn't help with my depression along with my many family problems. Contact a doctor immediately and think about those who would be hurt if something was to happen. Something that kept me alive before I talked to my parents was art. I dedicate my life to it, even if you can't draw take a camera or a sketchbook, go sit in a tree or take a walk and take pictures and draw everything of different colors. See what you notice, even plants can be happy, which proves that you can too. If you need someone to talk to email me or send me an IM. rainforest1394@yahoo0o0com
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