I dont wanna cry myself to sleep anymore…………

I am 13 and im an otaku… go ahead,laugh like everyone else. I would give up ANYTHING to be a kawaii Japanese girl… I dress like one people call me weabo and poser-but I'm NOT a poser…I love Japan an anime with all my heart. I wish I was in japan away from everyone…… But the name calling isn't every thing: My mom makes me wear knee length skirts an dresses an NO PANTS (just recently I argued It up to 3 in. above the knee WITH pants underneath) with those clothing standards I feel and look ugly all the time.

what I cant get over is: the mean People Are the racist ones- I AM kawaii but I'm ridiculed cause I'm not Japanese… I wish I was with all my heart… I think they're adorable. :,( Please help me.
how can I make myself LOOK as Japanese as possible? even though Im ugly an have a bump on my nose. please don't say "be yourself,don't care what they say" cause I wanna do this for ME an no one else.
please tell me how i can look even more kawaii cause maybe If I keep on being kawaii they might realize that I' m not a faker an leave me alone.
any of the following would be a BIG help:

online stores that sell kawaii clothes/accessories/shoes/ANYTHING
Some Japanese/kawaii hair styles that are easy to do…
Tips on clearing up pimples cause every Japanese girl I've ever seen had clear skin…
Ideas for kawaii outfits with the (retarded) standards above ^
How to give myself a Japanese manicure?
what to say/How to handle being yelled at/picked on without caving in and yelling (very un kawaii)
Finally, tell me how I can stop hating myself and stop feeling ugly…

so… If you feel like answering with "your a geek/weabo/racist/poser/otaku nerd/ugly, please just don't reply at all. I get enough of that from people who are supposed to be my friends.
An PLEASE don't answer with a "whats kawaii?" cause I'm asking the question… sorry if that sounded mean or rude, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase it any other way. thanks