I hate being white!!!! it's my skin colour, not my culture…?

I'm blonde (going darker), pale, with patchy bits of pink, freckles all over my back and chest,
I have a plain ordinary figure, I have a problem with my makeup as the people at the counter always give me light colours and I want to be darker! they give me 01 – that's the lightest..I feel ugly, my hair is so airy, I can't do anything with it! I also have light brown coloured moles on my left cheek and people keep calling me kim the moley goaly (as I'm the goal keeper on my hockey team). When my hair starts to grow under my under arms, it comes out ginger colour, but it's actually golden blonde, and the girls when I'm getting call me pasty ginger white trash and a latino wannabe! Because I go on the sunbed often to get a darker colour..but when it starts to fade, my skin get's realy patchy…I don't like the look of white girls in general…I think white girl's on my team and my friend's are ugly…because they are pasty, ugly and pale with nothing about them…and I'm like that too but I'm working on myself to make myslf look more pretty, feminine, curvy, get tanned skin, beatiful dark hair and nice olive skin…I'l get there!!! Alot of my white friends are like this too, we are always on the sunbed, we addictd to it…where would we be without the sunbed girls….blacks, latinos, asains etc, they have natural beauty…thank god for modern technology hey girls….!!!!!! atleast we can fit in, rather than just looking an ordinary white girl….