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This is long. You can choose not to read it if you would like. But, don't answer saying 'too long I'm not reading all of that.' Just don't read it and don't answer it. Thanks. To those who choose to read, thank you. I really appreciate it.

One of my best friends is very insecure. I've known her for 5 years or so and she's always been like this. I think lots of it has to do with her sheltered home life. Her dad is very strict and doesn't let her do an awful lot. He'll make her stay home even if there's no reason for it. She never questions him. She's said before that her dad would never hit her, but that he would use his voice if she were to do something bad. Her and her older brothers and sisters (and even mom) tend to keep a lot of stuff from her dad. She tried her first (few) drinks a few days ago and she told me that if her dad found out that he would kill her. I guess ladies aren't supposed to drink in their religion or something…I don't really know. It actually has nothing to do with the fact that it's illegal. She's almost 19, though. Her dad also makes her and her older sister do all of the chores while he sits and does nothing. They cook, clean and basically do everything for him. It's not like they're at home all day. The older sister works and my friend goes to college. The older brother also gets treated like a king while the ladies in the family slave away. If I'm at her house, she'll sometimes say 'I'll be right back, I have to iron my brother's clothes.' He's 10 years older than you…can't he iron his own clothes?

Anyway, she hates people of the same race as her. She calls them demeaning names and has no respect for them. She doesn't like what they believe in, but would never question it in fear of what her dad would say/do. We have to drag her to hang out in the summertime because she doesn't want her already tanned skin to get any darker. I've told her many times that she's beautiful no matter what colour skin she has, but she says it's a personal choice and that she'd rather be lighter. Not for health, but for look reasons. She has social anxiety and is very edgy in crowds where people might be looking at her. She fidgets and pulls at her shirt and fixes her hair constantly. She gets very nervous in social situations. For this reason, she doesn't like leaving the house a lot. She wants to, but doesn't want to deal with the anxiety that comes with being out in public. Usually a cinema or shopping outing turns into a movie watching session at her house. Fine with me, but the more she goes out, the more she gets used to it!

I don't know how to help her. I don't know how to bring it up. I've brought up certain things before, but she's very sensitive about everything and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She doesn't have many good friends. Just me and another girl.

I'm worried she's going to get stuck in a rut. She'll be able to drink a month and I'm almost positive she'll try to heal herself with alcohol. She's made it no secret that she wants to get drunk. I don't know what to do. I don't want to do nothing, but I don't want to nag her all of the time. Her family doesn't care, if she's around the house all of the time she can do all of their work.