How to be comfortable with yourself?

ive been told that as soon as i step into my own skin, people arn't gunna know what hit them, because im apparently nice looking and have good qualities, but i dont see it much or now how to use these, since ive been put down by so many people. so is there like an easy way to just figure yourself out? ive been called a hot mess before, cause im just all over the place and dont know how to take care of myself, and im really unaware of the good stuff about me. hahah does anyone even get what im asking, cause im not sure i do :)