How to accept ugliness?

sorry this is long

if there a how to get by plan for ugly people?

like i have all the sign that people think i am ugly this have been going on from i was little and yet to this day it still makes me cry and hurts my chest. one of the problem is that when i am alone i forget how ugly i am but when i leave the house i start to freak out i have missed alot of day in college because of this which is why i am so behind.

signs
no friends
never had bf
not even frist kiss
virgin
friends mum said
random people have told me
people give me weird looks
no one talks to me
mum keeps calling me pretty
i get used a lot
every picture i take looks bad
i dont get away wit things
teachers either dont like me or pity me
my brother told me
friends have told me
i havent got a job
when i would walk with a friend they would get chirped but never me
people dont ask me
i get laughed at in public
never called pretty
people always take the piss out of me
people i know ask me if i am ok …when i am just thinking
i spend all day in study centre in college
i nearly cried when i saw my reflection in public mirrors ,shopping windows and bus doors

i am really skinny with a boyish shape ,really dark skinned,big peanut head,yellow buck teeth,really hairy,big nose and protruding lips.low cheekbones,nappy hair receding hair line,big feet,pot belly,dark bags under eyes, small eyes and big forehead,big chin,low brows nothing is proportionate. asymmetric

i am really scared because i am not smart and naturally procrastinate even i have nothing better to do

and i dont have a good personality (seriously) i moan,***** ,boring,loser, dorky, pessimistic,cold hearted,unfriendly,selfish ,self centred,ungrateful,shy,socially unconscious,social anxiety,rude,unforgiving,people are uncomfortable around me,i am attracted to user and i dont know how to appreciate good people,aires,stingy …the list really does go on my personality is very fragmented but predictable at the same time.

so i know that i will no frills in life but i at least need to be able to get a job but that is really hard if your are black stupid and ugly.(suggestions)
how comes everyone else is average?
i keep daydreaming just to escape my life and make it that much shorter

do you know if there will be a day that i cant care any more also how can you see your self the way other see you?
please dont tell me beauty is in the eye of the beholder or protect my feeling that kind but doesn't help. or everyone is pretty. i have bad genes but i cant get mad at my mum because she didn't do it on purpose and she has done so much for me i love her.