How do deal with ageing and losing my youth?

I am 18 and I am very scared of ageing and losing my beautiful looks. I am a very handsome gay man and I spend a lot of time grooming myself and I use many anti-ageing creams on every inch of skin on my body, even behind and inside my ears. I am obsessed with staying young looking, but I realise people's bodies start changing at about 18. In Vogue magazine, an article this month says models have a hard time maintaining their weight ''after the age of seventeen'' which made me cry for hours because I'm way past 17. I feel old and worthless and cry silently behind my sunglasses each time I see a man younger than me in public. I try many things daily to capture my youth, black magic spells, using natural things and many different things I found online. All I want is youth and beauty, I don't care about anything else and I'm willing to do anything to capture my youth. How to deal with this?