Does my therapist feel anything toward me..some times i think i'm in love?
Author: admin
14
Mar
Does my therapist feel anything toward me..some times i think i'm in love?
I'm a 31 yr old female. I was born into horrendous dysfunction, suffered abuse and neglect as a child. At 18 i contacted a therapist . I scrimped and saved and paid to attend myself. I developed a great rapport with her. In fact i experienced 'transference' whereby i used to wish she was my mom. I saw her on and off through the years, i built a life for myself and could go 4 years without seeing her. Basically i'd see her now and again over the past 13yrs. I'm back again, and last time it was 4yrs since i saw her. I've tried other therapists but i could never build a rapport. She constantly tells me how impressed she is that i came to her, and that i knew i needed help and that i always stick in her mind.
To me shes fantastic and i owe all my development to date to the work we done together. I felt accepted for the first time. She has told me that i'm very special. My moms a raging mentally abusive alcoholic now in care at 64, i brought her up basically. I have ok a relationship with mum now, its ok, i take it for what it is and we can spend some ok times together.
Again i feel those feelings of longing to be 'close to my therapist'' (not sexually, maternally) returning. I feel good after spending time wtih her. But yet i'm sad coz i know this is a therapist client relationship and never will be anything more coz thats the nature of this relationship. I suppose its me looking for a mother figure i never had. Shes just so speical to me. Last night i had a really tender dream. I dreamed that we were both lying in bed and i was enjoying the feel of her skin and hair (again not sexual, please understand this). What are those feelings and do you think she feels anything? Do you think she feels any of this toward me? Should i reveal these feelings? Apparently they are common? Do you think she would be freaked and it would make our working relationship awkward?
5 Responses for "Does my therapist feel anything toward me..some times i think i'm in love?"
She's your therapist, and though she is paid to do her job, generally the type of person who is a therapist is a caring person.I am sure she feels concern for you and you are special to her and she is proud of your achievement. I am also sure she feels this towards most of her clients that are growing and improving. Its only natural for you to have loving feelings towards someone that has helped you and treated you kindly when you have had many problems with other relationships such as with your mother.If you wish to reveal your feelings you can do so as long as it isn't in expectation that she will return the feelings (ie, have a friendship with you outside of the professional one).I doubt if she will be freaked out and as she sounds like a very good therapist it won't affect your working relationship, it may be better for you if you do tell her and she can clear things up for you. Source(s): studying counselling
You would be better while you are seeking counseling to try and patch things up with your mum. The comedy show Frasier touches on it from time to time and even my psychologist has a blog which goes into it a bit. If you leave a message even if mines not the best answer. I'll leave a web address of his blog if your Interested in the comment section later on.
You share your innermost thoughts with your therapist and you trust her implicity. This can lead to you feeling a closeness to her – its a need we all have to be close to someone. She will have come across this before in her career and will understand.If you need to talk to people who will understand try an online support group like http://mhsanctuary.freeforums.org/
I saw this same type of thing on andy griffith. Ernest t bass came to town trying to get an education but when ms. crump hit him with a ruler he fell in love with her. Your therapist is paid to help you and be nice to you. I'm sure it's strictly professional and you'd benefit more and avoid being hurt if you didn't pursue this fantasy.
I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through, and glad you're in therapy to try and deal with everything. Your therapist is right – you ARE impressive for getting this far!I don't think that means she has any feelings other than professional care and empathy though.You're absolutely right, it is 'just' a therapist-client relationship, and the feelings you are having are quite common, especially in people who have been through abusive, unloving pasts like yours. I believe what you are experiencing is a form of TRANSFERENCE, whereby you are putting your emotional needs onto your therapist and imagining/wanting a more personal relationship with her. Its fairly common because you have trusted your therapist with intimate details of your life, and she is making you feel supported, cared for and safe. It may be useful to talk to her about this, but approach the subject as "transference", not by telling her about your dreams. If she's a good therapist she will not freak out, she will help you address the issue and work past it.Good luck x. Source(s): psychologist
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