beauty healthy happy
26 Mar
Does my poem make sense,is it good?
Late at night when no one else is hearing,
When the villains,the thief's are all asleep,
Creeping soundlessly along the grass,
leaving a trail of shame behind.
At the end of your path he waits,
your soul he requires,
your love he desires.
dazzled by his beauty,forgetting all
nothing can stop you from moving on.
feeling the earth pulsing underneath your feet,
sensing the bats eyes on you as if they can see.
The blood in your neck sliders like a snake.
You can hear your heart beating,
your veins desiring for more.
At the end he lays teeth bare on your skin
as he bites everything is forgotten,
as the blood drips your memory fades,
as he backs away you close your eyes and sink into darkness.
4 Responses for "Does my poem make sense,is it good?"
your poem is very creative and dark like an emo poem and i really like that about it.It's very descriptive and it just pulls you in to it. It decribes word for word how someone feels when they know they are in danger and I love the part when you said the bood in your neck sliders like a snake it just makes your skin crawl and makes you want so much more.
i like it. its a very nice free verse. its one of the better vampire ones i've read by a random person.although i've never heard of a vampire requiring your soul… but it is a very good poem. it sets the mood for a nocturnal visit. like i said one of the few good ones i've read Source(s): i write poetry myself
nice, very creative i like it
it sounds like it is about an incubus….. am i right?answer mine?
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