I usually do pretty well when it comes to essay writing, but since I wrote this one in a rush, and have already tried editing it myself dozens of times, I was hoping someone could help me. Any help would be appreciated, and if you can, please tell me what mark you would give me. I apologize for the length, but if anyone has the time to help a high school student who needs a good mark, I would really appreciated it. In case anyone is wondering, it is a literary essay, and I realize that when I copied it I lost some of the formatting.

Literary Essay: Lamb to the Slaughter
The lights are dim, and the curtains are drawn, as a devoted wife and mother-to-be waits for her husband to arrive from work. The scene is peaceful, calm, and perfect; almost too perfect. Now imagine a scenario in which that same loving character ends up crushing her husband’s skull with a leg of lamb. That is only the beginning. Her whole world crumbles around her, leading her emotions to take control of her. What could provoke something as horrible as this to happen? In the story, “Lamb to the Slaughter” the character of Mary Maloney is at first represented as a gentle and passionate character. Through her thoughts, words and actions it is revealed to the reader that she is strong, clever and manipulative. With her convincing lies and well planned alibi, she shows a completely different personality.
From the very start of the story, serenity, beauty, and love are the traits associated with Mary Maloney:
There was a slow smiling air about her, and about everything she did… The drop of her head as she bent over her sewing was curiously tranquil… Her skin—for this was her sixth month with child—had acquired a wonderful translucent quality, the mouth was soft, and the eyes, with their new placid look, seemed larger, darker than before.
The author sets up the beginning scene in such a way, that we are led to assume that this woman is the “Princess Bride”, personified. Her husband’s comfort and happiness seem to be the sole source of satisfaction in her life, and this is made evident as she patiently awaits his arrival from work with the curtains drawn, lamps lit, and drinks set. Once he arrives, in a direct contradiction to what the reader might assume based on how perfect their relationship seems; there is scarcely any touching. Instead, they both sit silently as Mary basks in his presence:
“…she was content to sit quietly, enjoying his company after the long hours alone in the house. She loved to luxuriate in the presence of this man, and to feel—almost as a sunbather feels in the sun…”
The intensity of the respect she feels for her husband, Patrick Maloney, is evident in the way she tends to his every need without giving a thought to her own condition of pregnancy. It is clear that her feelings for him are of her own accord and not the result of an abusive relationship as she offers to bring him snacks, fetch his slippers, and change their weekly plans because she feels his distress. Her selfless nature and gratified patience toward her husband’s arrival leads the reader to believe that the couple’s marriage is going soundly because the setup of the scene is executed so flawlessly by the author. In the first few paragraphs the reader develops such a strong bond and mental connection with Mary that we seem to feel her husband simply must share the same feelings for her, because any feelings of discontent toward this compassionate, fragile, and gentle woman must be the signs of a madman.
As the story progresses, feelings of the mutual kinship the reader has developed with Mary Maloney seem to progress with it- though they seem to hit a rocky edge as Roald Dahl does the impossible, he brilliantly implements the element of change on an otherwise static character. As Mary Maloney is informed of the fact that her precious husband seeks a divorce from her, her mind becomes an orgy of confusion and the reader begins to see a different, strong side of her as she faces shock for what might very well be the first time in her life. Upon hearing the news, a convulsion rocks through Mary’s mind as she resolves to ignore whatever her husband has just told her, and carries on to make dinner as if the past few minutes were merely a manifestation of her imagination.
Her first instinct was not to believe any of it, to reject it all. It occurred to her that perhaps he hadn’t even spoken, that she herself had imagined the whole thing… “I’ll get the supper,” she managed to whisper, and this time he didn’t stop her.
In a clear state if shock, Mary goes down to the basement to find a piece of meat to cook for dinner. Robotically she reaches her hand into the deep freeze and comes out with a leg of lamb. As she is walking to the kitchen, she notices her husband standing by a window with his back toward her. Hearing her footsteps he tells her that he is going out for dinner, and does not need her to cook for him. As if on cue, Mary involuntarily s